Sunday, Mar. 18, 2007
missing japan
*NOTE: the following entry will tend to sound incoherent and whiny because jam is TIRED and wishing she were still in japan. so there. RAH!*
so, japan field trip has come and gone.
i wish it weren't over yet.
I.SO.LOVE.LOVE.LOVE.JAPAN!!!!
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh i was sooooooo happy so so sooo very happy to be able to step on japanese soil, to run down the streets of Shibuya, Omotesando and Ikebukuro... to stand amidst hordes of hip japanese teens and fashionistas and OL's... to ride the Tokyo Metro and JR... to snack away on Crepes and Gyudon... pure bliss! and best of all, to shop shop shop at my favourite stores in Shibuya109!!!! finally... i went to the actual stores of Cecil McBee and Lip Service, etc... instead of just wistfully staring at magazines like Popteen... i went to an actual Johnny Shop in Kyoto!!!!!!!! and bought stuff from there!!!! no matter the photos were 150yen each... i actually shopped there!!!! it's so amazing.. and i went to Roppongi and Omotesando which i'm sure KAT-TUN went to before too... esp since it's all branded stuff there *_* ohhhhhhh speaking of which....SOOO MANY KAME POSTERS IN TOKYO <333 omgggggg it's KAME EVERYWEHRE.... the new docomo CM... uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa <333 andddddd i saw very beautiful architecture of course, the modern ones especially... ohhhhhh and i saw REAL MONET PAINTINGS!!!!! at the tokyo national museum!!!! one of his water lilies, as well as two of the bridge paintings!!!! omggggggggggg the bridge at london painting... soooooo amazing... so beautiful!!!! and i saw a REAL JACKSON POLLOCK TOO!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaahhhh i'm sooo happy...
that aside... the first ryokan we stayed in @ kyoto was the best... most comfortable... and we celebrated carmen's bday there too... in terms of time spent with my groupmates, i liked the first few days the most actually, because i got to hang out with k alot. we practically spent every minute together, whether it was visiting temples or eating or walking or taking the bus. so happy i got to hang out with him. and throughout the trip i clung to egg XD awwwwwwwww she's sooooooooo SOOOOO CUTE and loveable!!!! <333 and i gave her a bunch of tulips on White Day *_* hahahahha oh god i think she must have been like O__________O;;; hahaha but it was fun and i do like her alot XD and i also got to room with my favourite girls, all 6 of us in one room.
things sorta hmm went downhill from there though. i dunno, i just kinda didn't hang out much with carmen, ada and win. either i'm anti-social, or they're not hanging out with me much either. it's not like i abandoned them on purpose or anything... but they keep walking together, the four of them, in one long line and whispering and giggling about their fun times with billy... so naturally i'm excluded... and they complain i "abandon" them?? -_____- very wth indeed. and k started being very aloof to me... >_< it all started when he stopped sitting next to me on the bus... we talked so much less right after that... boooooooo... well, he did hang out with other people though................ -________- bahhh anyway i was SO IGNORED on so many occassions!!!! just because i'm not part of billy's clique!? wth.. sometimes... i feel like... i dunno, i'm the one who's trying the hardest to keep our group friendship together, to keep our bond tight... yet in the end, i get outcasted on different occassions for multiple reasons... of which i think is not very fair to me. i mean, how is it that i get 'blamed' for 'abandoning' different small groups? obviously i love all my girls, but i don't want to just stick to the four of them coz i want to accompany others like kif and terence too.. and when i get away from kif to hang out more with egg, ada, etc, he gives me the cold shoulder. now will someone tell me how on earth does that work out?!?? i mean hello, do u guys only need me cos you need a japanese translator!?!? am i like just a functional tool?? of which you can all chuck aside when you don't need me?? =___________= sighhhhhhhhhh yes i know i'm sounding very touchy and i probably AM being oversensitive right now but then i think on their part, they weren't very sensitive enough either. the whole ganging up on carol thing, in my honest opinion, is really just plain stupid. and billy, for chrissake, you're an ADULT. what kind of amateur lame behaviour is it for you to try and abandon your fellow senior colleague with a bunch of giggling girls??? i mean, don't you have the least bit of respect for carol?? i know carol isn't exactly like, bundles of fun to hang out with, but that gives no reason for you guys to try stupid TACTICS like eating sushi/sashimi which you know carol doesn't eat. i mean, why do shit like that on purpose?? i'm saying all this after terence narrated the ordeal to me, but i'm not purely brainwashed by him. i think he's even more aggravated than i am. for good measure, i think it's completely fine and understandable that some of you girls might want to hang out with billy cos he's fun, etc, or whatever... but it's seriously being two-faced when one day you call billy harsh after he grilled us on the gion project and saying carol is the truly nice one cos she's so understanding, and then when it comes to having fun, you all worship billy and just want to kick carol away. seriously... do you guys have any idea how carol might feel?? honestly, you think she doesn't know what you guys are thinking? she's been a tutor for so many years and she's billy's SENIOR, for chrissake.. she knows what we students are like... and i think she really tried her best as a tutor. i think she was really responsible and looking out for us really well on this trip. i know i used to part of the whole fly off chicken fur gang, but i always acknowledged that she was a good tutor, just not a fun person. besides, i think she's actually gotten alot more funny and nice. kind of silly at times too, climbing over the railing at the Garden of Art by ando, and jumping up and down to keep warm, and always taking photos for us... for a tutor, i think she's done a great job, really. i mean, would billy have done all that? i don't think so. and forcing terence, who's so bloody sick, to follow you guys around in the cold, in some lame attempt to kick off carol, is really not fair either. i mean, if you WANT to just hang out with billy, then be forward and upright about it. just TELL carol that you guys want to spend some time together or something. i mean, those "tactics" just sound really underhand and lame. personal opinion, that's all. but if i were there, i probably wouldn't have let you guys down that. i'm not saying i would've gone off with carol instead, i'm just saying the methods to handle things could have been better.
*ends long rant*
anyway, poor terence was coughing his lungs out. but he's really such a genuinely nice person, i'm so glad to have known him. he really understands alot of what i say and i'm glad he has such a clear and firm picture of his personal beliefs. nothing is worse than being a person with no judgement and vision. at least i think so.
well... that aside, it probably wasn't all as bad as i made it sound. the whole bath-taking thing at the 2nd ryokan in kyoto was so funny. awkward and embarassing for the first-timers, but i enjoyed sitting in the hot tub and chatting to my girls. so relaxing. ohhhh and i loved the night on gulik's bday, when we were taking lame photos. it was soooo funny i laughed till my stomach hurt and i was doubled over on the tatami. crazy good fun times with my group.
anyway, the other thing that sucked was that my Victoria's Secret lotion set was confiscated at Narita -_- suckssssssssss. along with my lucidol hair wax and toothpaste. dammit! cos i forgot to put it in my suitcase and they don't allow liquids on board. sighh. and i didn't go to Tokyu Hands!! shit. stupid me, all that was in my brain was shopping. hahaha *shoots self*
bought tons of magazines and photobooks too. soooo heavy omg. lol. but satisfied. hehehe. there were so many archi books i wanted at TOTO but then it'll really be too heavy to take and besides i didn't really know which were the good ones. bought some lovely clothes and an incredibly chic pair of boots at shibuya. happyhappy<3
sighhh.. wish it weren't over!! but it makes me more determined than ever to go to japan again someday.. in the near future, hopefully... >< man i wanna migrate there LOL
god i'm so bloody tired and i haven't started a single bit of work. fuck. had my first hiphop lesson at OTW this afternoon. it was pretty good, and yuuri's really nice. she's my age, omg. how did she manage to look so mature in the photo. thud. lol.
sighhhh. i will miss hanging out with eggegg. she's officially returned to felis' arms -__- i can't believe her KAWAI omotesando pics on her xanga. i was like O__O ....o...k... omg... she's really so devoted to her... >< mehhhhhhhh i'm jealous!!!! ha.. but i'm not going to like break them apart or anything, no worries... :P i will just stay the happy bachelorette i am... *falls over*
nonstop danso practice this week.. shitttt im sooo scared im so behind in the steps... really need to work hardddddd!!!!
roire at 10:00 p.m.